Taking the Fear out of Negotiation

by Betsey Dalbeck

Stop Negotiating.
Say the word "negotiation" and most people cringe or make a face that screams EXHAUSTION. Why? My clients and colleagues tell me they feel threatened by the possibility that they'll come up short. Lack and limitation are universal demons for most of us and, over time, we've all learned that we rarely get ALL that we want. Or think we want. So we have learned to distrust each other. We guess at what others REALLY intend instead of asking. And we hide our own true intentions. It is no wonder that situations that seem to require negotiation stir up our fears and make us feel enormously vulnerable. What's most dissatisfying is that, more often than most of us like to admit it, we come out of these situations feeling like failures.

Start Speaking with Intention.
So to me, clarity AND integrity of up-front communication between two parties beats negotiation any day. That's why I recommend a different communication strategy. I recommend entering a conversation of clear intention that gets both parties on the same page BEFORE an action is taken. I am not trying to be provocative here. I am simply stating that if you want your business to grow, you need to be respected as a good listener, honest communicator, great coordinator and exceptional product or service craftsperson. If you are aware of Fernando Flores' Atom of Work theory, you'll know what I mean. And you'll appreciate its POWER.

To demonstrate the power of this strategy, I let my executive coaching clients and my communication and selling workshop participants experience it.

Flores' Atom of Work: Request --> Clarify -> Promise -> Perform -> Assess.
For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. Flores' theory, let me explain it. Let's take a customer who needs something done by a business owner. (The process can also begin with a business owner making an offer to a customer, but our explanation will describe what happens when a request is made.)

1. Customer makes request. The customer makes a request of the business owner.

2. Both parties clarify request criteria for satisfaction. The business owner and customer each ask clarifying questions to fully disclose the customer's entire satisfaction criteria - the results that need to be produced by the business owner and measures that will be used by the customer to value the level of satisfaction once the requested action is completed. Everything that needs to be discussed gets discussed at this point: What needs to be done? By when? How much? Does the business owner have the skills and knowledge to complete this request? Does the business owner have the capacity to complete this request? What else needs to be discussed that may seem obvious to the customer about this request, but may be unknown to the business owner? The object here is to ASSUME NOTHING and find out what you don't know.

This is the stage that should NEVER be abbreviated. This is where the integrity of both parties surfaces and becomes an integral part of their intentions. Both parties must ask themselves if they are TRULY being honest about what they are committing to do. If not, then they need to clarify their intentions.

3. Business owners promises to do it. . Once the business owner and customer feel they can agree on all conditions of satisfaction (because both parties are committed to acting as agreed), then, and only then, does the business owner promise to take action as agreed and be completely accountable for the deliverable. If both parties can't commit to acting as agreed, then the business owner says no to the request or continues to seek clarity around conditions of satisfaction.

4. Business owner performs action.. The business owner then actually performs what she promised to do when she promised to do it.

5. Customer assesses business owner's performance. The business owner asks the customer for his or her assessment of satisfaction. When both agree that the business owner's action is completed to the customer's satisfaction, then the business owner declares that she has completed her original promise and another request can be made.

That's what it TRULY means to keep a promise. A request or offer is made. It gets discussed and accepted. A promised action is purposefully completed to the satisfaction of requester.

Act as You Intend and Build Your Business.
Acting with true intention builds trust, which builds confidence, which builds value, which builds business. Its power is enormous. It shows you deeply care about your work and your customers. Think about it. Who do YOU trust? What is present in the people you trust? What is your typical assessment of their performance? What is missing in those you don't trust?

Don't cheapen your talk with negotiation. Speak with intention. Make promises you CAN fulfill. Act with commitment and purpose. And watch your business grow!

®2002 Betsey Dalbeck, Fresh Tracks, Inc. All rights reserved.

Betsey Dalbeck, Founder and President of Fresh Tracks, Inc., is a recognized leader in turning business owners into vision leaders and teams into self-organized, self-managed units focused on driving forward organizational goals. For more information on how Fresh Tracks, Inc. can help you create a new path to success, check out www.freshtracksinc.com or email Betsey at bdalbeck@freshtracksinc.com.